Friday, July 29th, 2005 - 5:41 PM

A Tragic Botanical Tale

This is my photo documentary of a pretty little plant’s journey to the dark side.

Check out this pretty plant. Wouldn’t it be nice to have one of these in your garden? (Hint: Probably not.)

Evil Plant - Stage 1

Before long, the flower starts looking more like this. It’s still pretty, but past its prime. It doesn’t help that the photo is overexposed.

Evil Plant - Stage 2

After that, it moves on to this stage of development. If you look closely at where the flowers used to be, you can see some little seed pods forming. These innocent looking seed pods are pure evil, as will be revealed soon.

Evil Plant - Stage 3

In this photo, the seed pods have grown a bit, and anyone who has encountered a mature seed pod from this plant is likely to recognize it as the Darth Vader of seed pods, even though it’s still in its Episode 2 Anakin stage.

Evil Plant - Stage 4

At this point those soft little protrusions are starting to wilt, forming interesting little curvy barbs FROM HELL! Its journey to the dark side is nearly complete.

Evil Plant - Stage 5

After this it dries and turns into nature’s velcro — a dark brown egg-shaped seed pod that grabs onto any fabric or fur that touches it. Once it attaches to you, it hangs on until it gets to your house, where it builds a giant space station and kills us all.

3 Comments to “A Tragic Botanical Tale”

  1. Judy Maus Moore Says:

    Woody, how positively humorous. I hope you email Fred at U of Virginia. If you Google his name, you will find his emai. Kathryn Maus, too. But you probably have more in common with Fred since, as a child he headed up The Trash Hunters of America, gleaning the alleys of Highland Park for the best finds. He also wrote the adventures of the Maroon Goon and other wondrous tales as a kid. Harry Potter has nothing on the Maroon Goon, except he never published. Boy, is this googleing fun. Say hello to your Mom. Hope I never run into this plant. Sounds like you have had a recent personal experience.


  2. Woody Thrower Says:

    I’m glad you came across (and seem to have enjoyed) my web site. I’ve been updating it several times a week with stories and photos. It’s intended for friends and family, but so far you’re the only family that has seen it (other than my own wife and kids).

    My mom has told me about the Maroon Goon stories. I wonder if Fred still has any of them. Anyway, I’ll email him.

    I haven’t actually had an unpleasant encounter with that plant recently, but I did spend more than a little time as a child picking those things off my clothes, then digging the spines out of my fingers. I went on a walk recently and saw a few of them growing, and took the opportunity to take the pictures you saw.

    Thanks for the note!

  3. Beqi Says:

    man i had those get in my hair a few times..they are evil!!!!

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